This Community This is Weird.

And I’m not even being dramatic this time.

Last week was not the best in a general sense. I had been feeling like utter shit, my pessimism was out and about, awake and alert before I  opened my eyes in the mornings, the little good news I’d get seemed like child’s play, like the universe was patronizing me. So yeah, utter shit, internal chaos and an anxiety spike that really shortened my beauty sleep. 

But it was Monday and I committed to performing at an open mic. 

There’s this restaurant that hosts a poetry and spoken word night monthly and its such a warm welcoming space that’s truly inclusive and the word isn’t just thrown around like some marketing phrase. 

The day was wet, rain pouring down like the city personally offended someone. It was just 7pm but the clouds were so grey it matched my internal mood, but that’s were the weirdness comes in. 

I found a table and minded my business as the not-in-the-mood-to-hold-a-conversation baddie that I was. But as it is with a beautiful space, people will walk up to you and talk to you and make you laugh and ask how was your day and when you tell them it was shit, they’ll nod and tell you they get it.

Warm community is weird.

It’s werid because when you climb up the stage to shed layers of yourself you won’t feel naked because they’ve become your clothes. They don’t pry for more than you’ve already offered, but they tell you, that you did great, and that you are seen. 

Its funny because its not just the besties or the friends that do this, its the carefully curated spaces on the busy streets, the student run society  in a strict university, the online workshop that’s open to everyone by friendly people.

It’s strange how the optimism can seep its way into you after spending time with decent people. And how you sometimes feel like the weight isn’t as heavy anymore when you’ve shared with someone. And it’s nice, even for the terrible introvert. 

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Author Note:

Still musing about communities and whatnot…

Song of the Week:

I am in fact a Lyn Lapid girlie and this song really sits nicely with me: do you really