Leave Yourself Alone
Just let her be!
For a long long time I’ve been babysitting kids, mostly toddlers that are just learning to walk and talk. And for a long time, especially with my kid brother, I had been very protective of him. If I could wrap him in bubble wrap so he doesn’t scrape his knee I’d have done it. I’d be worried sick if I so much as heard him scream in a new way.
At some point I let him play with other kids and just watched. I’d see how he’d fall and cause I didn’t react or panic, he just picked himself up and kept playing cause it wasn’t a big deal, it wasn’t the end of the world that some skin had peeled off, or that there was mud on his clothes, or that the hair I spent time combing had matted and had sand on it. My boy was living life, laughing through it with his playmates and he was having so much fun! It was lovely!
I was speaking with a friend of mine earlier this evening, about how sometimes we should just let ourselves be and exist in this time with all our scratches and unhealed scars.
There’s no meaning to life save from the ones we give it so why do we move with the constant need to attain some ‘higher version’ of ourselves?
Sure, practicing and developing good habits help us live longer and give us some level of self fulfillment and it’s good to want to be better as people because what’s humanity if not an endless loop of changes and uncertainties. But at some point you’ve got to stop tugging at yourself like a wound in the middle of healing, reopening and poking because you’re in a hurry to be a ‘different’ you a ‘better’ you. Sometimes you’ve got to just sit with who you are now and be like ‘eh we move’
Sometimes you’ve got to stop trying to morph and keep moving and keep keeping up with the fast paced world. You're not a business and your body is not an employee, relax!
You will in fact change regardless. You will in fact grow whether you want to or not, and yes we should be intentional about the direction we want to grow in but there is a need to allow yourself to live as you are now. There is a need to not ‘punish’ yourself because you’re not the ‘highest version of yourself yet’ whatever tf that even means. And sometimes you’re already so much more healed, more qualified, more settled, more confident than you give yourself credit for. So sometimes maybe take the time to relish in the you of today that has already been through so much and is still here, existing. We are after all human ‘being’ so maybe just you know be.
Author’s Note:
It’s my weekend off you guys. I’ve gone on a ferris wheel, had loads of chinese food, taken pictures and I have slept! GOOD GOD I’VE SLEPT! I’m so proud of myself for it.
Song of the Week:
Have I been listening to new music? not really, but! I remembers this earworm I used to love and started playing again Suncity by Khalid ft Empress Of. Let me know what you’ve been up to in the comments!
It was so nice reading this. Sometimes just be rather than constantly thinking of how you can “level up”.
Love this. In my recovery group, there’s a saying for when we’ve done lots of work — inventorying, meetings, prayers — and it’s time to get on with life. We call it “ELMO” — enough, let’s move on.